sopping wet, shouting, california monster

as many of you know by now, I am inherently californian. born and raised in the golden state, I don't know how to deal with weather. we've talked about this before in the hate blog - especially when i first got to kentucky. weather is just something i was not born to handle.

so this morning I woke up at 9am for my 9:35 class. okay. i look outside and the wind is blowing HARD. I've rarely seen wind this hard. so I naturally assume it's probably freezing outside. it's not raining, but it looks miserably freezing, so i pull on my Vans cloth tennis shoes, a sweater, a fleece coat, and a tshirt and jeans. I am set to battle this cold, non rainy weather.

well, I get out the door and to my dismay it's not cold. it's not even cool. it's WARM outside. what?! WARM?! IT'S WINDY LIKE NO OTHER OUT HERE AND IT'S WARM?! what on earth is going on?!?!?!?! so I rush to my class (conveniently at the top of the hill) and I sit down.  bam. i can make it through today.

so around 10:15am (remember i've been in class since 9:35 at this point) I get a text from the WKU text alert service. it reads:

WKU ALERT: SEVERE WEATHER MOVING INTO BOWLING GREEN AREA WITH TORNADO AND THUNDERSTORM WARNINGS. BE PREPARED TO SEEK SHELTER.

upon receiving this message, I panicked. hello?! tornado!?!?!? NO THANK YOU! wtf is happening?! why is everyone treating this as not a big deal but i am freaking out!!!

not three minutes after receiving the message, a woman bangs on the classroom door, opens it, and yells "BASEMENT... NOW." and all the sudden it's a flurry of coats and backpacks and headphones swirling around, rushing into the basement. basement? whats a basement? we definitely don't have those in california. but sure enough, there's a basement in snell hall, and we sure did make our way down there and sat in the hall for an hour and a half. but my adventure was just beginning.

at 11:45 when they let us out of the basement and off on our own ways, I went out the doors into the cold and rain, and let me tell you, IT WAS RAINING. like, have you ever seen a monsoon? i have. it's called WKU on 10/26/10. rain was coming from all directions in the sky. i think rain was coming out of the ground. i think rain was coming out of my own body. little raindrops turning into bigger raindrops with death wishes for me. so i am walking, and i am soaking. no hood, no umbrella, cloth tennis shoes, this is miserable.

27. I HATE INCLEMENT WEATHER.

what is going on right now?!!?! here i am, soaked to the bone, parading down the hill back to my residence hall. i have given up on staying dry.. i looked like i just popped out of the shower. i really must have been a sight for sore eyes. sopping wet blonde hair, dripping down my face, soaking my coat, seeping into my beloved gray Vans. trying to hold my arm over my head as if that will shield anything. it's like the rain was speaking specifically to me. AMYLYNNE... WE JUST WANT YOU TO BE WET.............. MWAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA

it was miserable

so i get back to my residence hall soaking wet and i see the lobby is full of people i dont know. and i just open the door and start shouting. they must have thought i was rain-insane. i go, WHAT IS THIS?!!??!?!?! everyone looks at me. WHAT IS GOING ON!??!?! I HAVE NEVER SEEN IT RAIN LIKE THIS BEFORE!!!!!!!!! THIS IS LIKE SATAN DUMPING WATER IN THE FORM OF MENACING DROPS ONTO POOR LITTLE BOWLING GREEN! THIS IS NOT COOL!!!!!!!

i am pretty sure everyone in that lobby is afraid of me now, the sopping wet, shouting, californian monster.

but at least im dry now.

no sir!

the last time I was on an airplane was sitting next to a few total strangers on a trip home to california. generally, I like flying. flying is fun! you're soaring through the sky at however many thousands of feet high. just floating there in the sky, travelling towards a destinations. it's fun.

however, I've always flown southwest when I fly alone. I love southwest, don't get me wrong. i have nothing against them. in southwest, they don't assign you seats, which basically means its a free-for-all to get an aisle or window seat.

26. I HATE WHEN I LUCK OUT AND GET AN AISLE OR WINDOW SEAT AND THE PERSON IN THE MIDDLE HAS NO CONCEPT OF PERSONAL SPACE.

in this last case, I was sitting next to a middle aged Viatenemese couple. they seemed decent enough when they asked me to stand so they could take the aisle and window seat. no problem! I thought. I'll just sit here and listen to my iPod and read my book.

i kept this mindset until the flight started.

all the sudden, a brush.

i can excuse one brush. i understand, you have to shift around. as much as I hate being touched, I get that people have to move once in a while. okay, i'll excuse you this time, asian man.

a few minutes later... another brush.

the second time around is a little less excusable in my book. seriously? you just shifted like a minute and 23 seconds ago. again? really? what is this. come on.

and then all the sudden it's like your personal space bubble has been attacked by missles and the bubble has popped and it's like pearl harbor, and you're sitting there minding your own business while asian man decides to permanately rest his leg upon yours.

THIS IS A HUGE NO-NO WITH THE AMYLYNNE.

first of all, why are you touching me?! I HATE BEING TOUCHED! KEEP ON YOUR OWN CHAIR! IF YOU NEED MORE ROOM, BUY AN EXTRA SEAT! and then, I realize he has things in his cargo pants pockets and thats brushing up against me too.

WHAT?! WHATS WRONG WITH YOU? YOU KEEP THINGS IN YOUR CARGO PANTS? ARE YOU INSANE IN THE HEAD?? ALL YOU'RE DOING IS ANNOYING ME! ALL I WANT TO DO IS GO HOME!! STOP TOUCHING ME!!

so you launch a plan of revenge.

how can i seek revenge on this man?

so i turn and push my body as far away from this asian man as i can. like, full on, shift. i'm hanging in the aisle. maybe he'll get the point i DONT WANT TO BE TOUCHED?!??!?! but guess what???? NO! HE DECIDES TO TAKE UP MORE ROOM! NO! NO NO NO! I WAS NOT GIVING YOU THAT ROOM! I PAY FOR THAT AIRSPACE! GIVE ME MY BUBBLE BACK!!!

so i press my shoulders into the back of the chair and hog the armrest. that'll do it right? he'll go away then? WRONG. he just overlaps his body on top of mine!! seriously?!!?!?! what did i do to deserve this?!?!?! why is this happening to me??????

and just as i get so frustrated i can barely focus my eyes, the man in the seat in front of me lurches his chair into the most reclining position possible. OKAY SERIOUSLY! WHO DECIDED TO MAKE THOSE CHAIRS RECLINABLE????? ITS SO RUDE! I CANT DO ANYTHING WHEN THE CHAIR IS RECLINED!!!! NO SIR, I DON'T WANT YOUR HEAD IN MY LAP FOR THIS FLIGHT!!!!

why is everything so stressful?